“I’m not going anywhere.”

I recently watched a powerful film. The name of the film is, Wind River. The film stars Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen. It was written and directed by Taylor Sheridan. The film takes place in Wyoming. It deals with the harsh reality of missing Native American women and the lack of information available when these women go missing. Renner and Olsen team up to work on a crime. I don’t want to give away any other big details in case you see the film.

Throughout the film, the topic of grief and acceptance are woven into the characters and their situations. There are two scenes where Renner is talking with a friend and doing a great job of being there for his buddy when he needs him most. They discuss the gut wrenching aspects of grief. In one of the scenes, the friend asks Renner if he could sit with him while the friend sat with his own sadness and grief. Renner’s character basically said: “I’m not going anywhere.” They were true friends and both shared incomprehensible loss. Taylor Sheridan has a real knack for showing a genuine bond between some of the characters in his films. 

As we know, when we are in the storms of life, we want to know that we have people “that aren’t going anywhere.” Meaning a support person, someone walking next to us through the battle fields of life. Friends, family, neighbors, a therapist, a pastor, etc. It’s nice to know we have a sidekick that can be there for us. Some people have their faith and this is always with them. Even our loved ones that have passed will always be present in our hearts and memories, even if they are not physically next to us, their spirit and love can always remain. We have to lean into that pain and that sometimes seems impossible to face. Knowing that you don’t have to do it all alone can be a huge comfort. I encourage others to reach out if they don’t yet already have a support system. There is help and support out there, keep pushing forward, there is HOPE.

The film I mentioned was one that my brother in law, Tyler, would have appreciated. We lost Tyler in January of this year to bone cancer. He was a true wingman for me and I tried to do the same for him. I wished numerous times during the movie that he was sitting down watching it with me. That loss and grief often hits us like ten tons of bricks. I have to lean into that reality, everyday, that he is no longer here. By accepting the reality, I can remember the awesome times we had. I could see Tyler saying: “I’m not going anywhere.” That was the kind of person he was. In a sense, he was watching the movie with me and his spirit hasn’t gone anywhere. We will lose loved ones and it will hurt like hell. Let’s do our best to accept it so that we can start to heal. Let’s help each other walk through the storms, just like we are seeing currently in Texas. People reaching out and helping each other live through these literal storms of Hurricane Harvey. Inside the healing from a loss of a loved one is where we can find and sit with the memories, the laughter, the love, and all the other incredible things that person shared with us on earth. We want to get in the face of our difficulties like OCD, depression, bipolar disorder, impulsive behavior, crippling aniexty, grief etc. By facing these situations head on, we have the opportunity to see the calm of the storms.   


Jeremy Rudd 

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