When dealing with OCD, and other related “demons”, doing the “unthinkable” could be taking the next step out of your home and feeling you have to make sure it’s “just right”. Because we know that OCD may tell us to repeat this 54 times before we do get it “right”, it’s torment and it’s flat out exhausting. It could be getting dressed in the morning, putting our clothes on a certain way, avoiding touching certain things, we may get caught into the chaos of more rituals: cleaning, checking, counting, intrusive thoughts or rumination may be taking up a lot of head space. It may be taking up all of it, it’s unfortunately damn good at that. The good thing is we do have a choice to notice these things that pop up in our brain without taking the bait to run down the “road to nowhere”, AKA: more rituals!
It might feel unthinkable to stare these fears dead in the eyes and go right after them without avoidance, or rituals, or more mental rumination. The good news is, it can be done and I truly feel like you can give it a shot if you haven’t already. I know the torment, the pins and needles in your chest and head, the killer bees swarming in your stomach and chest, stinging you with doubt, anxiety and fear, as the OCD tries to shoot our wheels off by making our world smaller. These layers of jagged and rusty edges in our body and brain is hard to explain. I understand what the dark side of this stuff feels like, all too well. Please don’t give up, keep fighting for your life. That’s why we do this OCD treatment. Because OCD is not our life, it’s just an experience we have to go through so we can get to the other side of this black cloud. Even if the black cloud wants to come with us, it truly can’t stop us from trying the unthinkable. 4 seconds at a time, one step at a time, one breath at a time. Do it so you can continue to teach your brain that you can do this, you have probably done it many times before. What seems “unthinkable” now might have been a walk in the park previously. You have done this in a lot of areas of your life, and I feel like we can use this as motivation to continue teaching our brain new learning to break free from the same old bondage and fear. Try to enjoy your life, please keep pushing ahead, 5 minutes at a time.
Jeremy Rudd