It is very common to hear something hurtful or negative after someone starts with this sentence. It may even come from a place of love, but the feedback can still sting internally. It may be something that should have been left unsaid. There are times where maybe we needed to hear some difficult words. Using acceptance in these situations can be challenging, but helpful. Having OCD and experiencing these situations can be a whole other monster. OCD loves real information, things that actually happened. It loves to torment us with this kind of information that someone decided to actually share with us. We know how the guilt and shame cycle is often present in our OCD experience. We can be so damn cruel to ourselves. As humans, in general, we can be very hard on ourselves where we wouldn’t expect the same from others. Our brain is looking for faults. This is a common human experience. However having OCD can make this feel like it’s multiplied by 100. Like the example of turning this information over in our brain for the next 2 days, it’s tormenting and not productive. It can feel like our brain is on fire.
I feel that when we give into OCD compulsions and avoidance, we are taking things the “wrong” way. Our brain is looking for threats and faults, it’s part of our survival system. However OCD hijacks this and makes it way more difficult than it has to be. I feel we take that false brain signal the wrong way by giving into compulsions or avoiding things in our life that we would like to be doing. Getting better with OCD involves leaning into these fears and avoidances, and responding in a different way. Obviously way easier said than done. The good news is, doing 5 seconds of something different, this is still progress. Intrusive thoughts, and how we react to them, can be extremely time consuming and exhausting. What makes it OCD is when we tell our brain that having these thoughts, images, or urges; is not ok. Our brain wants to fix, fear, avoid, or make it “okay.” Trying to stay distracted of these thoughts, or trying not to have them, we know this is like pouring gas on a fire. If we tell our brain it’s not ok and something needs to be done, our brain will expect the same thing next time. We can try to make our hands “clean”, as an outward OCD compulsion. Just as we can try to “clean” our brain of these thoughts, as an inner OCD compulsion. It’s still the same cycle of giving into what our brain is demanding. There is hope for this.
I have had OCD for 40 years. I have been in some dark places. I’m a licensed therapist and specialize in helping others on this journey. Meeting with someone who specializes in OCD can be a crucial part of treatment. I am not trying to sound generic, but this stuff can truly get better. We don’t have to suffer alone. I bet you know what it feels like when we feel we are on an island in the middle of nowhere, ALONE, and help is not coming. It can feel like others just don’t understand what you are going through. I do this for a living, and I still have to occasionally remind myself that we are not on this journey alone. It sure can feel like it!! Countless people have had success working on their ocd where they can have more peace of mind, and get their time back from this tormenting and insidious creature we call OCD.
I think we take these false brain signals the wrong way. They shrink our world and take us away from people and things that we care about. You are worth it and deserve more peace of mind. What would you like to do with the time that you get back from OCD and anxiety?
But dream no more
To live a life in love
To hear the voice in the wilderness
The other side of the door
Somethin’ more – +Live+, “We Walk in the Dream”