The torment of OCD and Depression are often relentless. These two experiences can cause indescribable pain. Anxiety often fuels, and feeds off, both of these two. Due to the reality of internal torment, we know we can feel like we are all alone on an island even when surrounded by loved ones. If we are blessed to have others around us that actually care, this is something to be grateful for. I am a big believer in having family and friends as support through the dark times, if possible and appropriate. Even though it feels next to impossible to explain OCD to someone who doesn’t have it, obviously having loved ones around us that do show support for our struggles can go a long way.
We know that OCD stays in business by living off of our compulsions and avoidances. Even if we are not doing “outward compulsions”, we can still feed OCD internally by giving into mental compulsions. Rumination, mental checking and review, self criticism, “just right” thinking, comparing ourselves to others; these are all examples of how we keep the OCD chaos in business. We can put on the “fake” smile and go about our day at work or school. Maybe no one has a clue of the torment we experience on the inside. Maybe we have others around us who do know we are suffering, but obviously that’s not always enough for us to be able to unhook from feeding these emotional demons. We know it usually comes down to how we are going to respond to OCD, that’s the real difference. These are times when we can feel alone, even when around others.
Again, How we respond to this OCD monster is what matters. Whether that’s external or internal. Compulsions keep us stuck. Either way OCD still wants its pound of flesh. Rumination is a very difficult and common way of keeping OCD alive. We can do it anywhere. School, work, driving, meetings, sporting events, etc. We want to be mindful of how we are responding to these thoughts. Trying to push a thought away usually just causes it to come back stronger. Mentally replaying a difficult situation from 6 weeks ago won’t change a thing about that situation. We can know that logically, but the urgency of OCD shows up and we fall back into the grips of our miserable friend because it’s familiar. Rumination and constant self criticism and comparison becomes a part of our day and we can feel there is not a way out of this mental pain. We fix OCD by not fixing it. We want to be mindful of what our mind is trying to do with the information that is presented. There is a difference between productive, on purpose thinking and planning, versus rumination and trying to solve something that doesn’t have an answer. Not trying to “solve” these familiar topics in our mind can be a huge step in the right direction. And as I always say: even if we can only unhook from the rumination 10 seconds at time. That is still something! That is still success against OCD. We want to chip away at OCD wherever we can. This is an understatement.
Most of the time we are truly not alone, but it’s easy to feel that way even when surrounded by other people. Having the ability to communicate digitally with others can be a very positive thing. Reminding ourselves that there are others out here that are familiar with the struggles of the difficult journey. OCD is a liar. Call me naive, but i’m a huge fan of kindness; towards ourselves, and towards others. I feel I do a pretty good job with treating others with kindness, but I know I am often “guilty” of not taking my own advice when it comes to tearing myself apart from the inside. I’m sure others can identify with this. As humans we are often very hard on ourselves, however with OCD, I often see this multiplied. Doubt, guilt, shame, and other similar cycles of feelings, can be absolute torment and very exhausting. Let us do what we can to lean into things we care about as we try to tell OCD to go lay in a ditch. You getting relief from OCD or other mental health symptoms matters. Let’s keep pushing ahead, even if that is just 3 minutes at a time.
“How many times can they fill me with lies and I listen… again?” Ozzy Osbourne– (Rest Easy)